Cliche as it is, life’s too short to keep dwelling on what other people will think of me. I’ve had enough especially during my highschool years. One of the reasons that convinced me to study here in Manila instead of my province is that I used to have in mind that (almost) everyone talks about me behind my back. That made me want to start again in a university where no one knows me. In that way, I’d be able to start anew. But now it’s all coming back — the paranoia. Maybe it’s just overthinking but hey, it’s really hard to just shrug it off. On Twitter, I always feel like every negative tweet is for me especially those tweets from people I know. I’d think every shoe fits me, as they say. Pero ayun na nga, ngayon I’ll try to stay away from my personal Twitter account as much as possible. It was supposed to be my outlet but the past few weeks I felt suffocated with the things I see on my timeline so I decided to use my second/fan account instead. I don’t have an image to protect in that account so I feel liberated. There I’m able to express myself better and I get to talk about the things that I really wanted to talk about without worrying that I might annoy some people. Also, I’ve noticed that my personal Twitter account’s timeline is full of sad tweets and other negative stuff that makes think about sad things too. I remember the article I’ve read that social media is one of the causes why depression is rampant in today’s generation. I’m the type of person to overthink things. So when I started staying away from Twitter, I realized I’m slowly losing things to overthink about.
But I’d like to clear that I’m not staying away from Twitter for good. I’m only staying away from my personal Twitter account. I’m only switching to my fan account because that account actually gives me life. It saves me from all the lonely shits in my life.
PS. I’m staying away from Facebook as much as possible too but I’ll still visit it sometimes. Maybe for a minute or two just to check on updates.
(Originally posted on my Medium account last January 3, 2016)