About Shynne B.

17 | Thomasian Artlet | AB in Communication Arts




I took a nap for about maybe two hours. I woke up, still vividly remembering a quite unusual dream. Well, it’s not really that unusual but it seems that that certain dream is trying to tell me a message. If I remember everything right, it goes something like this: I was carrying a big red bag which I would lose somewhere after a while. Still not noticing what I lost, I went straight to the airport (and since it was in the context of my dream, the place looks a little strange). It was when I got there that I realized that the bag was missing. I was starting to panic. Then I heard an announcement from the speakers saying that it’s already boarding time. I was torn whether I would just forget about the thing I lost or go looking for it. I chose the latter even though I knew that I would miss the flight. I found the bag back but when I returned to the airport, the plane is already going up the sky. I missed the flight. End of dream.

I know I shouldn’t be overthinking again but I can’t help it. Was that dream trying to tell me something? I think it’s about setting my priorities. Currently I am torn between two things and it’s seems that I should only choose one. It’s actually about the two organizations I am interested in. The first one is TOMCAT and the other is Thomasian Writer’s Guild. I’m not really expecting that I’ll pass the TOMCAT interview but still, I wouldn’t ignore the possibility of passing. The thing is, the deadline for submission of requirements for TWG is on October. 1, Saturday and the last day of interviews for TOMCAT is today, October 29, Thursday. I don’t know when the results for TOMCAT will be posted. I’m hoping to know the results early. If I pass TOMCAT, I will not push through my application in TWG. But if I don’t make the cut then I’ll do otherwise (even though I’m also unsure if I’ll pass the latter). Now I’m undecided whether I should continue the story I’m planning to submit for TWG or not. But my dream seems to tell me that if I keep focusing on TOMCAT, I might miss my chance in TWG. Not that I’m confident that I’ll surely pass one of them. It’s just that I don’t want to miss the chance. I wanted to take the risk. I don’t want to regret anything.

As Maine Mendoza said,

“In the end, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do

more than the things that you did.”

Remember, they are irrelevant.

Here you are again, thinking over some petty things and then getting sad about it. Get out of your personal twitter account. It’s toxic. You know you’re weak in handling negativity. You are not the sun; the world doesn’t revolve around you. Not every one really cares about your existence. Stop thinking that everyone hates you. Stop thinking that every single negative post/tweet is about you! You are worth more than what you think. You are important, especially to those few people who truly care about you. You don’t need to over-think every single thing or over-analyze every single move. What good does that bring you? It doesn’t even give you satisfaction after thinking over it for hours and hours. You’re just making your life seem miserable when it’s not as bad as what you make it seem. It’s all in your head, honey. Fight those demons inside you. Don’t let them ruin what was supposed to be a great day. Don’t get affected with everything. Mind your own little bubble. Listen to your favorite music, read those fan fictions you’ve been wanting to read, practice digital drawing, write down your feelings, create stories. Focus on the things that will keep your head off all those negativity. You deserve to relax. Enjoy your time. Own it. Be productive instead of indulging in all those nonesense. Getting sad about those things that you shouldn’t even think about in the first place is a huge waste of time. If some (or a lot) of people really hate you, let them. Keep in mind that it’s inevitable; it’s normal. They are irrelevant in your life. As long as you have a few who accept your flaws and understand your shortcomings then you’re okay. And remember, you have you. What’s important is that at the end of the day, you still love yourself. Don’t you ever let people think that you deserve to hate yourself too.


I love you, Shynne.

When you’re doubting yourself /again/

Deep in your heart you know you do love yourself. But maybe you don’t love yourself enough. Do you trust you? I bet you wanted to say yes but you’re hesitant. You’re not sure, are you? Of all people, you should be the first person to trust yourself because if others don’t, at least you have someone. And that is youWhat if you can actually do the things you think you can’t? What if you’re actually good at the things you’re afraid to do? Why are stopping yourself from exploring? Why are you stopping yourself from learning? So what if in the process you prove yourself that you really can’t? You learned. You gained experience. And that’s okay. It’s actually a good thing because you recognized a weakness. I promise it wouldn’t be a loss on your part. Just please set yourself free from your own box of standards that are too high. You put yourself inside a cage where its keys are just in your hands. It’s too cliche, but yes, step out of your comfort zone. Stop being the first person to doubt you and your own capabilities. Stop doubting and start doing. Take risks and accept challenges. Enjoy your youth. Try the things you think you can’t or make yourself believe that you can’t but really wanted to do so. Don’t prevent yourself from discovering your true strengths and weaknesses. Be there for you when others are not.

I trust you. I know you can.

Always remind yourself that.


I love you, Shynne.