Slowly But Surely

It’s almost 3am and here I am, crying over Day6. Sometimes my love for this band gets a little overwhelming; I couldn’t help but be emotional. I’m tired of shows being so careless with Day6 just because they ain’t big yet. They never get their name right when it’s just as simple as “Day6”, they disrespect them by not giving the stage they deserve where they could shine in MAMA, they “mistakenly” used a photo of another band when it’s just so easy to search for Day6 photos, and the list goes on. Day6 is such an amazing band. They succesfully finished their EveryDay6 project where they released new songs, an MV, and even hold concerts every month—a total of 25 songs and 25 concerts. All that and somehow they are still not as recognized as they deserve to be. They deserve more. They deserve everything. I’m honestly getting impatient. I just want more people to discover and listen to their songs. But I believe in time, they’ll get big. They’ll get there. They’ll achieve their dreams and more. And as Pau (one of my mutuals said), 

“Success is sweeter when it’s not earned overnight. Like scaling a treacherous mountain, each painstaking little step is significant towards getting to the top.”

But for now, I’m still very proud of how far they’ve come. The fandom grew and I’m sure the boys know how loved they are. We are lucky to have each other. Cheesy, but Day6 and My Days are my home. When things get tough or when I wanted escape real life, they are the ones there to comfort me and cheer up. When I lose motivation, they are the ones who help me get back up and keep pushing forward.

I love them with my whole heart.

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Better Better

Hey. I can’t believe I’m writing again. I might as well keep up this sort of journal entries. Anyway, in case you’re wondering what’s with the weird title, Better Better is actually the title of a Day6 song from the Moonrise album. It’s my current favorite song and one of the songs I love listening to in the morning while preparing to go to school. It just automatically puts me in a good mood. Sometimes it even motivates me to do anything. It has just THAT impact on me. And it’s so weird because I’ve been feeling too motivated lately; I wanted to do so many things and I get frustrated that I couldn’t do them all at once. I want to catch up on Day6 all day, I want to write a fanfic, I want to write a blog, I want to start reading a novel again, but I also want to focus on finishing my resume and CV for internship applications. But it makes me happy. I feel… passionate again. It’s been months since I was on the mood to do all these for myself and for the reason that I was happy doing them. For the past months, I feel like I was only doing things for the sake of it or because it’s a requirement. Maybe it’s also the reason I lost interest in these things. I hate the feeling of being forced or told to do things. I want to move on my own will, at my own pace. But the real world doesn’t really work that way. You’re not that special for everyone to adjust for you. You have to adapt to the world around you. You have to meet people in the middle. Not everything has to go your way. I guess this is also what I need to remember because I keep forgetting it. This is one of the things I hate about me, though. I don’t say anything but this voice at the back of my mind always wants things to go according to her plans or what she wants. Okay–I actually don’t know why I’m suddenly saying this. I’m just writing whatever. I just want to let out all my thoughts in hopes of lessening overthinking, unlike the usual. I always feel like my subtle awkwardness is annoying. I’m annoying. I’m really trying to be nice and all, but I still end up doing and saying things that I regret and overthink every day. Not even exaggerating. Although I think I’m improving. It’s not as bad as it is back in high school. I feel good these days.

I’m also happy that I’m not stressing much about the internships anymore. I now have plans on the companies I want to apply for and I have also started on my resume and CV already. I’m actually feeling a little excited now (which I hope I won’t regret later on). I’m looking forward to the learning experience. School’s still pretty chill. It seems like it hasn’t officially started yet. Some professors are still not attending class and we don’t have much homeworks yet. But I hope once the shit tons of acad stuff to accomplish start, I will remain this positive. I’m genuinely feeling happy and motivated. I hope I’ll continue to be like this, even when the actual school works start.

You got this, Shynne 🌸

To A New Start

So uhhh… hi? It’s been almost a year since I actually wrote something. I really love the last story I wrote but I don’t know what happened after that. It felt like I poured everything in that story that I was left empty to start on something new. I just somehow lost interest after or maybe I just got a little busy while I prioritized something else too. My heart’s always been into ficition writing (since I’m not really good with creative writing) especially when I get too passionate at times, and I feel like I’m not really skilled with writing in general, unlike what most people assume from me. Fiction writing is the only thing I consider myself a little good at. So I decided to test or rather hone my skills in writing by applying to be a scriptwriter for TV shows in our school. At first I was ecstatic that I got in. I was really excited to work and I enjoyed what I was doing then. But then I was given two live TV shows to write, but I stuggled a lot with my 2nd show. That’s when I felt like things started going downhill. I began questioning my skills again. Can I really do this? Do I really have enough skills for this? Maybe this isn’t for me. I slowly lost the burning passion I have when I first started. It was slowly burning out. I wanted to quit. I felt so unmotivated. I didn’t want to do anything. My grades were starting to drop too, so I wanted to focus on studies and I didn’t want to think of work. I just wanna leave it all behind and ignore everything. Sometimes I look at my hardworking block mates (those who a lot of work at hand and are always busy with org work) and wonder how they do it, how they manage to do all kinds of work and still seem passionate. Meanwhile, I only have to write for 2 shows and it already felt too overwhelming that I had to resign from my other show. I really envy them. 

But this year, I want to try it again–I want to try harder. I want to make better scripts for my show, learn more in graphic designing, and not lose passion for digital drawing again. I want to develop my own style more. Although I honestly admit that this new drive is partly because of internship. I feel like I really need to work this time in getting more work experiences. But more than the experiences to put on my resume, it is the process of enhancing my skills along the way.

“For the development of yourself, it’s not the results that matters. It’s the process.” – Jae (Day6)

This quote is from a member of my favorite South Korean band, Day6. It’s what I want to keep in mind for the whole year. Funny to mention this here but I’m actually a Taurean. And as a Taurean, it’s hard to get out of my comfort zone, and change scares us. But this time, I want to get out. I want to grow. I’m afraid but I want to try again. 

I feel like along the way of losing interest in the things I used to be passionate about, I disappointed a lot of people. I rejected work offers and slacked off. I avoided them as much as possible. I didn’t like having a hard time or getting pressured. But in a few years, I’ll be going out to the real world. And you don’t really get to choose what you want to do in work. So now I want to regain people’s trust. I want to trust myself again, too. There’s a lot more skilled people out there, but I shall do my thing at my own pace.

We’ll get there, Shynne. You got this. 🌻