Gone at Five


One table left. 

We had no choice but to agree sharing the only table left and so we did. At first we were silent, minding our own business. You busied yourself eating your food while I checked my phone. But then after a while, I felt it. Your discreet glances from time to time. I looked up to see If I was right, that you’re stealing glances. Our eyes locked. You were caught by surprise. You shyly looked away, pretending that nothing happened.


Two buttons undone.

I tried, okay? I tried so hard not to get distracted but my eyes couldn’t stop staring at the exposed skin. That little mole in your neck looks really sexy. I can imagine feeling the skin of your neck under my lips. I suddenly feel like a vampire ready to bite on your neck. Yeah, I know I shouldn’t. I’m sorry but I really can’t help it.


Three times you cleared your throat.

The first time you did, I thought maybe there’s just something stuck on your throat, so I ignored it. I just kept my eyes on my phone. The second time you did, It was a bit louder. I was about to pour water on your glass but you already did when I was just about to move my hand. And the third time you did, It was the loudest. I bet even the people from the tables around us also heard it. And honestly, the way you did it was attention seeking. So I looked up at you again. I saw how a grin threatened to form on your lips but you suppressed it and tried to act nonchalant. I knew it. You were tying to get my attenion.


Four random topics.

You finally initiated a conversation. We had four random topics before we got distracted when we realized how intense our gazes were while listening to each other. The hunger in my eyes reflected in yours. We’re feeling the same — some kind of intense burning feeling inside that makes us want to rip off each other’s clothes. Right here. Right now.

“You know what? You actually don’t look good in that black polo shirt.”

You playfully smiled. “I don’t think so. I believe I look good in everything I wear, miss.”

“I guess you look better without it.” I want you naked. Yes. T’was shameless to say out loud such a naughty thought. I know. But I really can’t help it.

“Then remove it.

“Here?” I playfully smirked.

“Inside my car. Yes?”


Five a.m. 

This is it. Us in the backseat of your car. Your polo shirt thrown at the passenger seat. But my eyes couldn’t help but feast at the sight of your long milky white neck and and the cute little mole in it. But right when I was about to put my hands on you, everything went blank and I woke up at five a.m just because of that one loud nonesense notification on my phone. I should’ve muted it before I sleep. Stupid. It’s always like this, my love. Unfinished beautiful dreams with you in it. I’m getting tired of this. I want to touch you. No, not in my dreams. I want to touch you for real. I want us skin to skin. But I know it’ll never happen. Ever. Because…

                                                          I’m just a girl

                                                                                            who likes a boy

                                                                     who also like boys.